IWC Interview Podcast: Dr. Jan Weiner – Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Believing they may be attracted to someone of the same sex, even though there has been no sign previously, can trigger a person into obsessive thoughts and doubts about their sexual orientation. Am I  really gay? Am I really straight? I am confused! These could be the thoughts of a person dealing with Sexual Orientation OCD, also known as Homosexual OCD or HOCD. Find out more in this podcast with OCD expert Dr. Jan Weiner…

5 thoughts on “IWC Interview Podcast: Dr. Jan Weiner – Licensed Clinical Psychologist

  1. I am very confused about this as my therapist has said many of time Hocd people are not Gay but then Jan Weiner says she has helped Hocd people come out. Am I really misunderstanding this.

    • Adam – because you have OCD and it is HOCD does not automatically mean you are gay or homosexual. OCD in and of itself tells lies and is a bully. So the messages from OCD are not true. The determination of whether you are gay or not comes out of your own decision not from OCD. That is something only you would know in your heart and mind. I don’t believe Jan helped people come out as Gay because of OCD, I think she has helped people realize there gender outside of what OCD tells them.

  2. I read a comment on YouTube about what Dr Weiner, I was disgusted and engaged when I read it. What I read when I clicked on the link was a relief, I hope the YouTube comment was posted by someone who misunderstood, but people who are gay, do not get OCD about being gay, it doesn’t happen, and leading people to believe they can, intentionally or unintentionally, is very dangerous.

    The people who are gay, who get sexulity OCD, get straight OCD, if a gay person has issues with their sexulity, whether it’s related to religion, their family, their society, culture, they deserve support, and they can’t help being who they are, but that has nothing to do with OCD!

    I hope Dr Weiner isn’t telling people gay people get OCD which tells them they are gay, because doing that will lead to suicides, I promise you that, a straight person getting gay OCD is like them being sexually abused by their own brain, when they get the manipulative challenges, the ego-dystonic groinal responses, and they are so warped, that they still question their sexulity, their lives are not worth living, they are better off dead than alive until they realise independently that they are not gay.

    If this was all a misunderstanding and Dr Weiner and everyone else involved with this project hasn’t been leading straight HOCD sufferers to believe they could be gay, then I apologise, and have no criticism for Dr Weiner or anyone else, but if she or anyone else has, you haven’t heard the last of this.

  3. To say it is impossible to be sure if you’re straight or gay is unnecessary, people can be as sure they are straight or gay as they are the sun will rise the next moring, the basis for that is only the non-existence of certainty, which you have to apply to all aspects of life if you apply it to this. It’s misleading to say people can’t be 100% sure of their sexulity.

    Are you talking about straight OCD? Because gay people get straight OCD just like straight people get gay OCD, if you’re not referring to straight OCD, then what you re talking about has nothing to do with OCD, does it? That’s the usual challenge a gay person faces because of the way society perceives homosexuality.

    The story at 13:00 doesn’t sound like HOCD, that sounds more like the indecision of a bisexual, soneone with HOCD wouldn’t act on their thoughts, just like people with paedophilia OCD doesn’t act on their thoughts. Failing to distinguish OCD from general sexulity indecision is very dangerous, you could lead people to believe all sorts.

    You said you’re there to treat the anxiety, great, but that’s the key, attraction and anxiety can’t co-exist, what the OCD tells you about being gay isn’t true because if it was, it wouldn’t give you anxiety, just like a straight person can’t get anxious by straight thoughts, paedophiles don’t get anxiety about their crimes, murderers who kill their families don’t get anxiety about that, the anxiety gay people get is related to their family, society, religion etc. Straight people getting gay OCD must be taken more seriously, it is deadly.

    ERP is like a risky surgery, there is a reason OCD therapy has a high drop out rate, I for example can promise you with as much confidence as I’ll never commit rape or murder (100% certainty!), that I’d be at risk of killing myself during ERP, it would not make me better, some people’s natural sexuality is such a deeply embedded part of their identity, that the more they are forced to open up to the possibility they are another sexuality, the worse they will get, I’m not a believer in ERP, certainly not for everyone, because it assigns more meaning to the thoughts, engages with them, and gives them credence.

    This is sick, some people are so far on the heterosexual side of the spectrum, that they don’t find anyone of the sa’e sex attractive.

    • I agree that people can know if they are gay usually from a very young age and if they have confidence in themselves they can express it. What I see a lot and I think this is Dr. Weiner’s thought on this is that the mind is what keeps them from believing it or living it. What I feel she was saying through this podcast is that what the problem is the anxiety around being confident in their feelings. I believe what she does is to help lessen the anxiety so they can be in touch with themselves to really feel the sexuality and gender and have the confidence to be comfortable in whatever their “skin” is. I don’t agree with you that people with ocd won’t act on their obsessions, suicide is one act on their obsession as well as other acts.

      ERP therapy is the best option along with some medications or mindfulness or ACT to embellish it. It is the toughest work anyone will ever do and yes many people will back out of it because it is too hard and/or they don’t have anyone to support their work. I have seen it work both personally (more times than I wish to have experienced) and in clients. Now with sexual OCD as some others they take some special work and someone who truly knows how to work with that. The other one that we are personally experiencing with one of my own kids is around bathroom issues of OCD because it is difficult to tell someone how long they need to go poop or pee, how best to wipe and how they should even approach the bathroom. Yet we are using ERP and it is slowly working.That is the other thing that turns people off to ERP is that it takes time if it is done correctly.

      I really do appreciate your honest comments. Thanks

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